Without a doubt a tale:
A Lion once fell deeply in love with an attractive maiden and proposed marriage to her parents. The old people did not know things to say. They did not wish to give their daughter towards the Lion, yet they didn’t wish to enrage the King of Beasts. Finally the father said: “We feel highly honoured because of your Majesty’s proposal, but we see our daughter is really a tender young thing, and that we fear that within the vehemence of the affection you might possibly do her some injury. Might I venture to suggest that your Majesty should have your claws removed, and your teeth extracted, only then do we would gladly consider your proposal again”. The Lion was so much for each other he had his claws trimmed and his big teeth removed. But when he came again to the parents of the litttle lady they simply laughed in the face and bade him do his wildest.
This gem features among my favourite euphemisms ever – “vehemence of affection” – and in addition it offers quite a bit to teach us about good writing:
1. Everybody loves stories about people – even about people (and big cats) they do not know.
2. A classic story features a unity of purpose, having a beginning that hooks your interest (“A Lion once fell deeply in love with an attractive maiden”), a middle that holds your attention (“claws removed…teeth extracted”) and also a satisfying end that wraps up the loose ends (“laughed in the face and bade him do his wildest”).
3. The best stories are about something. The fate from the tragic, toothless Lion tells us that love can tame the wildest of beasts. Wedding speeches celebrate the bride to be and groom and marriage – a well known fact many a Best Man has overlooked in their rush to google-scavenge tasteless jokes about ex-girlfriends.
4. If you open a magazine of fables, you know what to expect: a collection of short tales using a moral, typically with talking animals. Likewise, when you hear the clink of glass in a wedding reception, you have expectations by what can happen next, like the order of speeches and also the things they might be about. Understanding the conventions of wedding speeches and toasts – even if you opt to not follow all of them – can help you save a lot of time and be sure you don’t forget a vital element.
5. Just like a fable, a good speech doesn’t need to become long. Sometimes the wedding speech in a wedding is the shortest one! After all, this Aesop tale at just over 150 words remains popular over 2,Five centuries after it was initially told!